1. http://www.ohmypod.net/ with Peter and Pinoyboy.
2. http://www.onglinepodcast.com/ with John Ong.
3. http://www.andrewfaith.com/ with AndrewF.
4. Peter's blog @ 1.
5. Pinoyboy's blog at http://www.publicjourinal.com/.
I've also gathered that I will need to check out Brad's 773podcast and Ben's idiologic so that my listening palette is well rounded. Thank you guys for being inspirational. I promise to keep listening and reading.
Now where was I - oh yes so lets talk about migration in Australia. Ben you might find solace in this. I was 25 when I first met my partner and was busy trying to seek out a career in the Arts. I was doing quite well in the areas of funding as the Arts Council was my patron and having picked up a couple of awards I was good to go. At the same time, I was in fact working at Fridays 5 nights a week to make ends meet. It didn't pay that well but it kept me out of mischief. I was fired up and a wee bit optimistic then but Youth and Rigour are soulmates - I was in for a real rough ride.
I met my first BF while out shopping in Singapore. He was visiting and I was out gallivanting - we happened to cross path and he asked me for my number. He lived in Oregon and I was going through a family crisis at that time so could not offer him what he wanted. It was fleeting - we held on as long as we could for about a year and many AT&T and MCI call cards later decided that it was not going to work. We just grew apart. There were holidays @ ski resorts, trips through the US of A, pics with the family, baby pictures - the works but I guess at 25 physical needs were very important - proximity even more critical. We were very mature about it - somehow we knew the inevitable. He was a lovely man and people like him are rare these days.
Thereafter, I went through a barrage of people trying to find Mr. Right Now like there was no tomorrow - Swiss, German, French, Australian, American, Portuguese, Dutch etc. I'm one of those that believed if you want to get wet then get soaked!! I thought I had issues but there are loads of damaged goods out there - it was like going through a scratch and dent moment. Mostly misses - the sad thing is that they keep coming back for advice....maybe I am too generous coz the only thing I remember are the good times - far too forgiving. They were unwittingly evil as I was disastrously gullible. (Aside - I saw Dogville recently and would have shot them if I could but that would be a crime - would it?)
Characteristic Chart:
- Dutch - Trust not those with forked tongue.
- German - They'll try anything more than once and again and again and again.
- Swiss - Beautiful people but just too fragile. Do you like my glass slippers?
- French - A day later, he wants to buy crockery, an ironing board and...
- American - I have yet to find a nasty thing to say...they've been pretty decent.
- Australian - Its in the upbringing. Very liberating....
- Portuguese - Make up your mind already...how many shoes do you really need?
It was different this time around. We dated awhile and he asked me to move in within 6 weeks. I did. Somehow I think I've never given up hope . We got to know each other for a year and then he had to go home to Australia to get a procedure done. At that time, I already had a place in London to do my Masters in Fine Arts. We were both heading in opposite directions. I guess this was pivotal and the choice was mine to make. So we compromised and headed to Sydney...I routed my placement to UNSW and he got a job with the same company in NSW. We had a lovely townhouse in Neutral Bay where we stayed for 3 years. During that time I made 1 very good friend - my partner on the other hand thought that I was again far too generous with this friend. We began our migration preparations then.
It was difficult when we attended out first GLITF (Gay & Lesbian Immigration Task Force) meeting. All the couples had a huge age gap and we looked like real newbies among veterans. Some of them couldn't even speak a word of English. I was devastated at the turnout hoping not to be stereotyped as an opportunist. I had my head screwed on right and I was adamant not to be misunderstood.
It was hard gathering all the information that the immigration department needed - we started opening loads of joint accounts, bills etc. and did our wills. We were always looking out for new developments in migration laws that same sex couple could leverage off in the news too. We had to take pictures of all our vacations and attended more GLITF sessions. They were superb though and held our hands as much as we wanted them to and let us go at the first sign of our preparedness to take it up a notch. As GLITF had their own gay migration lawyers, they assisted us in getting all our legal documents in place and they worked off donations rather than government funding. I was amazed at their generosity and kindness especially at this difficult juncture in our relationship. I have to say that this was the make it or break it moment of any relationship. I received my permanent residency in 2000 right after my second year in Sydney and an interview later with DIMIA. I also lost my Dad that year - I think he just faded away while missing mum.
Anyway, 11 years later - we are still here. We moved to Singapore for work twice and have finally settled in Adelaide. I was naturalised in 2006 April - nearly missed the occasion coz I was ill but made it there on time to pledge my allegiance to the flag. The destination was anti-climatic but the journey was very character building. I think I appreciate being an Australian more since the whole process was very difficult indeed. There were real bad times when I wanted to pack my bags and leave. Same sex migration will never be easy but one must have faith. Faith is the only thing that will keep you going and going....
So to Ben - hang in there because there is light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to get a bigger torch and make sure you have many spare batteries.
Thanks Andrew, Peter & Pinoyboy for being so conscientious in actually reading what I sent you...
To be continued....
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