Ebay - More - Ebay. Stop it you shop-a-holic maniac!!

The Ebay craze is amazing - shopping without leaving your couch can be oh so therapeutic but I've always wondered what it is like to sell something special. Remember when Doyle died and Cordelia went all wierd..."the only thing he had was his gift Cordy and he left the most precious thing to you and nobody else?" Angel Season 1. How do we then value friendship if the only thing we have is our voice and our gift has nothing but altruistic currency? I sat down today and have decided that the answer is not quite straight forward as I had imagined - leaving me rather dejected by the whole "able to hold conversation, direct and an ordinary bloke" one liners.

Selling : new in box unbroken radar-gun cum loud-hailer to capture/captivate wild animals without any bells or whistle, powder-coated of course to keep the rust away. Comes with complementary hearing aid, tarot card reader for lost souls and original receipt with lots and lots of months left on warranty - just add water.
Payment Method : Takes Credit or Lay-by.
Delivery Method : Email or Snail mail or via blogg.
Contact Seller: nubiworld
Items in Store: More of the above.
Buyers Beware: Might need to actually engage with seller. God Forbid!

I have recently discovered the world of http://www.gaydar.com.au/, an internet 'dating' site or for me a place to meet like-minded individuals that allows chat up with complete strangers, get to know them, have short and sharp comedic moments via the WWW incognito - not in any particular order and eventually become bosom buddies with the possibility of trips to the pub and beer. Cool ...an ordinary bloke life! A site where you can be as responsible as Chernobyl to the Russians minus the dying of kids + a few dead Chechen terrorists at a concert sprawled across CNNNN. Once you sign out that's it - all bets are off!!

Of course, some may say that my reasoning is a little dodgy for getting connected and for that, I highly recommend this dodgy site if you need to figure out what dodgy is. That I am afterall a sociopath sleazebag trying to spy on the 'in' crowd and to that I say, 'hello, what's your name!" without any hesitation.

The truth of the matter is, when you eventually find someone interesting to talk to among the thousands of lost souls it all gets a little wierd coz you're miles away and they might actually like you for once. This act often leads to juvenile and immature responses which does not reflect at all on age or maturity of spirit - more often you'd be left gasping in anticipation. Maybe everything is far too daunting and people are out of touch? I have found 2 out of 5000 people in Australia that might just be worthy of some investing but the odds are not good for single people looking for love - unable to fit into the mould of misfits among misfits.

The profiles setup are simple...what I like, what you like, what I want, what you must look like, what I hate about gay people, what I hate about straight people, why you should be a lesbian (just kidding!), what I think your body should look like, how I'm not shallow, what I hate about people in general and why people love me so much - go screw yourself if you don't like what I have to say coz you're not my type ...yaddah yaddah yaddah and the list goes on. Bloody Nazis - they're everywhere!

Among the penile colony, there are random 'introverted' presumedly innocent individuals that seems alright in the beginning with million of hits on their site. I say give them the benefit of the doubt...they might just be really nice guys after a decent conversation. And if they are not so nice, well stay away from adding to that accummulation hit list counter - you stupid stupid stupid man! Can't say enough of that these days...

There is also that barrage of homosexual dialect spoken in tongues like a man possessed -'straight acting', 'girlie', 'bottom', 'top', 'muscled', 'bi', 'straight', 'married', 'coupled', 'GSOH', 'Certified Prick', 'emotional retard', 'four-legged', 'half a brain', 'mile long penis attached to brain with massive haemorrhage oozing globs of emotional baggage' etc. that just confuses you when couple with word such as "discreet" and "cock"- what does it all mean especially when you're 50 going 60? Are you looking for Mr. Right or just the right spot I wonder?

Maybe what the world needs is an internet dating company that cares beyond the fake gimmick of flash and photoshop. Matching someone and organising get togethers within their local area as part of the company's true motto. Maybe we just need to get real - that whatever makes us the lonely scab that we are is the result of our very own making. We are individuals who are so mistrusting of our true nature that we cower at the first sign of honesty? Or maybe we think too highly of ourselves where infact we're just after a quick fuck? Lets be honest guys there is no 'what ifs?' here..just 'what is'.

So get on the bandwagon everyone and get buying on Ebay - I hear that there is a whole new series of gadgets that they're rolling out for Apple in 2007:

The "I-Prick": A tool that doesn't call when he says he will. Duo-Core : One stupid the other just +1 greater than stupid.

The "I-Jerk":A tool that just comes and go never to return. No Memory included at all.

The "I-Me" :A masturbation tool that does nothing but looks really cool.

The "I-Dickhead": This is not a tool at all but a full-length mirror that is imprinted with your self-image + speakers that connects to your "I-Prick." USB for "I-Me" included.

The "I-Care" : A tool that massages your conscience and let you feel again.

The "I-Feel" : An add-on tool to connect to "I-Care" for a good overall emotional sensation in surround sound.

The "I-AM" : A tool that connects to the "I-Care' and "I-Feel" which can be taken to yoga classes to share with others during meditation.

Apple is going to make heaps in 2007. I've already ordered mine via Ebay.