XMen Origins - Wolverine

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

Wonder Woman - I am a fan (Marvel)

God it has been awhile

So many things have happened - I have 2 more workdays before I am off for my holidays. Contemplating closing this blog out and concentrating on just taking pictures for my sanity.

Still want to see Jules in Sydney and go picture taking. Still want to catch up with Andrew and Scott again for drinks at the Flinders. Still want to see Kevin in 2009. Still want to see how Keiran will get on with D in January. Still hoping to find the ultimate job that will make me happy = more money is icing on the cake. Still want everyone in the world to find happiness. Still hoping that everyone just grow up. Wish I could stop the world for a moment and just be still and enlighten the world that if the world ceased to exists today - does anything matter? Cognitive?

I am soooo tired...

Wish I could....

Just stop for a moment and be transported to meet:

Andrew
Kevin
Duane
Keiran

and run away for the weekend without having to think about work and the falling Australian dollar.

Counting down the days - 4 weeks to another holiday. Just changed some US dollars and the Aussie currently is at its worst i.e. 0.59. Thank God we changed some cash when it was in the 0.9s. Oh well - let's see what happens in another 12 months.

The LA-MEXICO-NY leg is booked for Oct 09 and waiting on just the returned flight. I am counting how many leave days I need. Might be able to spend some time in LA or Washington. Alas it all depends.

I've missed writing on my blog but work have taken at least a year from me for the past couple of weeks.

WALTZ Koop ....hmmm D we should meet sometime - maybe in another life? Who knows?
Don't work too hard Kevin - it should be Halloween Parade weekend.
Andrew - I'll see you in a fortnight... I might be able to spend a night in the mountains!
Keiran - Thai dinner and a glass of Pinot!

Signing off for another laborious day of not frolicking! What am I doing?

KOOP ISLAND - Something I came across...

Very Parisienne...

Closer to the holidays...almost there!

The holidays are just around the corner again. It is Friday and there are a lot of things to do. The Saturday will be spend at the Royal Show – we go there twice each year in anticipation of finally sitting in the arena to watch the fireworks display up close at 9pm.
The final night of the show has a very somber feeling to it and I find that ‘warmth’ endearing; like knowing that you’ve done a great job and it is time to go home.

I am also happy to see the farmers smiling again and the beautiful horses. Like my boys, I now understand how you can fall in love with such beauty. I am not a conservationist or pro Green but I am delighted that they are back this year with a vengeance.

Sunday is Spring Cleaning day and washing the boys as it will be a sunny day undoubtedly. Then there is the washing and the packing to do. I really need this vacation.

To my friend from far away – have a great trip home and may Barcelona be a good step moving forward. I wish you the very best mate and I will ring you.

Mike Rowe

My latest distraction. The voice - the voice!!!

Hellboy? Hell NO!

What can I say…Del Toro you need to get back to your roots. I was disappointed to say the least and the only thing that made it all better was the frozen coke. There were a couple of creatures that were interesting, ala Pan’s Labyrinth but everything else was all over the place. I give this two and half stars…maybe I was just too tired.

Alas my good sir...

You see the great thing about reflection is that you can attribute the ‘adjectives’ sprouting out of your consciousness to the most nonsensical thing you can imagine and still make it sound fantastic…rocket science stuff when it is only a push bike analogy. The moment gets to you and you are bedazzled - very Jane Austen.

I had a rather confused moment where I reflected on a flawed emotion in my previous post. It was not as much purely fancy-foolish but rather unrealistic expectations – the affects of alcohol and an over-enthused little squirt. Expectations are what drive some people as an elixir to youthful beauty but maybe I am just too old for elixirs and by the way, I hate driving cheap knock-offs.

So “You Know Who You Are” – someone once stopped me in the middle of a mall and said that he knew me in a previous life. I understood him in a way and I felt a sudden dread that if it didn’t happen in that life why should it happen now - no matter how attractive and overwhelming the moment was.

We come across so many people in our lives but there are those that we connect with – soul mates are over-rated especially when it is complicated by too many variables. Let's be mates instead and I will see you soon - you still owe me that cup of coffee by the park in East London and I will bring Chamomile.

Revisiting old friends...

This week I discovered an old friend - Attraction. Somehow as you get older nothing seems to excite you - I have discovered an old emotion that I have long ignored though maybe as a result of domestication. I understand why it is persistent and willful nonetheless and how in my youth, this would have been a real burden. I am stronger now and have embraced it for what it is while letting it pass through my system.

The odd thing is that the sensation seems familiar - how so? I don't know how to explain it but it is one of those persistent sensation that you have. Not like a headache in which I have one ever so often but a 'reverberation'.

So Attraction I take my hat off; for just when I thought I have overcome my flaws, I am back to learning how vulnerable self-actualisation can be when you become too complacent.

September Blues....

It is the beginning of Spring, father's day this weekend, a weekend in Singapore thereafter, a work trip to Queensland upon returning and another holiday in October long weekend in Melbourne.

I should be grateful that everything is all planned out for the next couple of months anyway but I am so exhausted. Yes Kevin - the BIG E!

So this weekend, a deserved long soak with aromatic bath salts and maybe a trip to the masseuse/physio therapist just around the corner of home sweet home.

More later...

What I am doing ....

Reading

• Lonely Planet USA
• Lonely Planet CHINA
• Lonely Planet Mexico
• Lonely Planet Central America - on a shoe string
• Lonely Planet South America - on a shoe string
• Sadly nothing exciting on the pulitzer front.

Listening:

• Goldfrapp - Felt Mountain
• Ladytron - Velocifero
• Frou Frou - Details an old album for a goodie
• PNAU - I can't believe I ignored this album
• Solange
• Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
• Van She - V
• Coldplay - Viva

Recent Purchase

• Berghaus lime green light thermal half zip
• Black Diamond caving LED lights
• Another jacket for work
• Grade 1 Strawberries
• Willunga Corella Pears
• Lamb's wool sweater for the hubby

Must do's

• Tax return
• Must not bring work back home
• Upload Flickr pics
• Malaria pills for Cambodia
• Write to Kevin - How's the weather like in NY around October?

Just did

• A weekend drive to Victor Harbour
• Half a dozen mini donuts
• Beijing food at the Market.

There goes the weekend.

Smart Roadster - Pretty Pity!

All Hail the Power of Top Gear! Wierdo dials...mid engine Mercedes Benz - a real city car, fashion accessory + undiluted sports car. Where do I put my extra weekend luggage again? The gear box is apparently unimpressive - pity!

For Kevin - Sydney Apple Store

Early around 8-30am ...cold! A walk around before work

What a night....

I cut myself last night - another eyebrow bites the dust. In a fit of rushing into the taxi while on the phone and trying to get the suit jacket on, I brushed my brow against the corner of the door. Talk about idiotic ... and I didn't carry a handkerchief yesterday, so there I was oozing with blood all over my suit and asking the taxi driver whether he had any tissue. I have delicate skin, the taxi driver wanted to drive me to hospital.

Now here I am all scarred again - caught up with Ross last night and he said that it was HOT! I told him stop being stupid. The worst bit was having to go to this shitty restaurant, some Chinese place in the city that served really horrid food and staff that didn't care whether you get what you ordered. They kept wanting to serve me prawn bloody dumplings. What's with dumplings?

After 5 gin and tonics, went out with Dave for more drinks and 3 gins later and a dirty martini at ZEMA's@HILTON which was the only place that was still open at 1am that served cocktails, I am now sitting in my room wanting a real huge sloppy burger with the lot after going through all my emails this morning.

In about an hour, it's a lunch meeting and then straight back to the airport to fly back to Adelaide. I miss my contoured pillow and my bed badly and Nicholas + boys. I felt really awful last night when I had my cut and I wanted to go home desperately there and then. Alas when you are away, you just have to deal.

It will be good to be home again...soon.

CHOP CHOP....

Up at six, showered, shaved, dressed, answered emails, ran reports, cleared workflow, had breakfast, a nice warm latte, 2 glasses of water and now ready to go into the office....pretty boring really but hey it is a means to an end. Tonight is late night shopping though - maybe a new gadget? I don't know yet - but hopefully I will not be too exhausted. Will take a picture of the wonderful view of the North Sydney Office.

Ciao.

Sydney Again ...

So after dinner with the Boss at Chat Thai and drinks at Cargo, here I am in the hotel room watching hollowmen on ABC...its exactly what happens at the office sometimes. Thank God we don't run a country just a multi million dollar business!! Have actually taken some shots but the CITY is so impersonal and alien - winter doesn't help but Adelaide is much much colder so its not the weather, I think its the isolation. I miss home.

The balcony door on the 23rd floor is open and I am letting the cool air in. I have little inclination for central heating and the sound of traffic is not as soothing as it used to be.

Called Andrew but he wasn't available...industrial podiatry engagement. Called Ross and he is stuck with freelance work that has to be delivered tomorrow for his client. Tried emailing Bents for Coffee but he is also engaged this week - being an administrator before I can understand. Alas I need to be planning things better but work is so reactive that sometimes I have no idea when we're in and when we're out.

Strangely enough I had a meeting today at Randwick Barracks - "People who are dressed as soldiers who are in fact electricians, accountants etc." How ironic!

"You can't get respect in shorts!"

Need sleep - big day tomorrow with the boys...I will know whether I will be going to India in the next couple of weeks to train people or have a long nice weekend eating and shopping in Singapore. Wish me luck.

Is blogging getting harder each day....

It seems so. Work somehow occupies most of my time these days and longing for a nice vacation which is still a couple of months away can be difficult but yes work pays bills, bills paid = holidays.

The people I am with are excellent on good days and really shitty most days so it is getting harder to pick up after someone's mess as days goes by. Proximity to the problem groups is a big issue and sometimes collateral damage is unavoidable - you get involved even when you are not suppose to. I try not too think about work too much and the politics so all in all I think being an underling this time around is not half bad.

But the weekend is almost here again and I just had a wonderful lunch of Pinot and Linguini so that went down quite well. I almost think it was rather extravagant of me but I needed a break.

I also have an excellent Boss whom lack of a better word is a real cool guy and we have an understanding that we are good at what we do when we finally get to do them but for the moment, fire-fighting is needed in the area.

Will be in Sydney again in a fortnight's time and hopefully will be able to stay again over the weekend this time. Who knows what is going to happen but hey maybe I do need to get out of the office.

Still haven't got my iPhone yet - I just cannot commit to getting something that I don't need but maybe when the plans are more competitive I might give it a go. Indra is also doing well - well as he can be though at times he seems utterly exhausted. He is in remission afterall and a quality of life is what we are after if nothing else.

OH...I am so exhausted. Time to go home.

Hit That Gash!!! - Foreign Beggars vs Rouge A Levres

Hmmmm there is just something about French rap...

BELKIN F8N042EAKHK SLEEVETOP LAPTOP SLEEVE BAG NOTEBOOK

Can't find this in Adelaide at all... that sucks!

Before the Sydney Store Opened...

I think I am a little late... will get you all actual pics when I am in Sydney next.

The Crazy Weeks...

It has been one of those months...putting out fires across Australia while bridging the UK and India. All in all work is getting exciting as I see things being ironed out and the business is finally up to speed.

Last week was time spent training again. It has been awhile and I've told myself that I would never train again but it felt familiar - SAP is not one to be reckoned with. There are some braniacs at work but people are way too selfish to share what they've learnt so it is a good way of getting them to open up.

Work has also been good to me - finally got my Turbo Network Card, my mobile phone which has yet to be activated and the spare power cable for my Toshiba. The only thing that is worrying is the fact that everything came in at a snail's pace. It was different when I was in charge of assets - communication was key and integral to the business.

So we have decided to go to Melbourne (drive across) and spend the weekend + theatre tickets if there were any left. October will see us in Singapore for the long weekend and then Dec will see us four wheel driving in Cambodia.

We have also agreed that April will be remote China starting from Beijing for some antique hunting and maybe cutting across into RAISE THE RED LANTERN territory via Xian and finally Shanghai for some cocktails via the Bund.

October 2009 will finally see me in the US again. I am trying to make an effort to fly into San Francisco and drive to the Grand Canyon etc and then fly to NY thereafter to visit the old man. Drive to Washington and hopefully will still have time to catch up with Kevin, PB and Peter. I need to organise it in such a way that everyone is there at the same time without inconveniencing anyone. It would be good to spend a night out with the boys!!

Ok time to sign out...so tired need sleep!

In search of a new lens....

I haven't made up my mind yet but the Nikon Nikkor 10.5mm macro lens is good but I am not too sure whether I do mind the distortion. It is something that I don't really need for wide angle shots as my 18-200 should work out fine. The Cambodia trip will see us in places that are inaccessible to the general tourists hordes so I really want a wide angle lens to capture the scenes.








The 14-24mm Nikon F2.8 is excellent but will cost an arm and a leg. With f2.8, a faster lens is always a boon but at two and half grand, that is a little ostentatious.




Anyway the weekend was alright - bought shoes, a shirt and some nice undies. I like the mid cut briefs - they're not too long and they're not a thong either. Just right! Also went to the cinema for an anime festival thingo and sat through VEXILLE. Nearly fell asleep...not good when you are an anime addict.



I have also been catching up on my blog reads and podcasts. I cannot imagine living without them now...how odd?!

Wanted - Another summer movie to catch!

Hellboy 2

If there is Pan there is Guellermo...I'm a hellboy fan so this is a must see...11 July it is then!

Thoughts for the day....

I have been trying to catch up on all the podcasts. It has been rather difficult with work and all but I am now at episode 301 OHMYPOD. The new jingle is a little strange and I have image of intergalactic going over and over like a broken record with Peter and PB brandishing ray guns!

The possibility of heading to the US is getting closer as it is probably in the late 2009 early 2010, the latter probably be in April during my Birthday. Some planning is required as I think I will try and fly into San Francisco, do a little driving along the coast and then off to New York to see my old boss. I am keen to catch up with Kevin but I am not too sure whether I will be able to see Peter and PB. There are also plans to drive to Washington DC. So planning has to be perfect or I won't be able to get to see people and places.

This week has been flu week. I am still a little 'quezzie' but have decided that I need to concentrate on getting better. Oh well that's winter for you.

Thoughts today are with Andrew, Kevin, Ross, Peter and PB.

Love you both - Andrew & Ross!

Make you feel my love.....Adele.



Take care mates... you hang in there! Remember there is always Adelaide.

XXX

The Office....

On the 10th floor overlooking the harbour + the bridge. It was magnificent but after awhile can be quite monotonous. I should have brought my camera but then again I already had one to many hand carry luggage for the trip. Did go to an exhibition opening on Thu in Paddington - Sydney is still full of 'tossers' after cheap booze. The prints went unnoticed throughout the night but the stains on the floor were not.

Finally caught up with Andrew and we had a lovely dinner at King St Wharf...Wagyu beef and a bottle of red. Caught up with another lovely couple across the table who were here in Sydney to catch the Dalai Lama for the weekend .. a fireman and his wife from Wollongong. What a small world...I was just up in Port Kembla yesterday...hmmm.

So Andrew and I spoke for hours. As we were not late sleepers anyway, we retired at around 11.30pm. By then, the Cabernet had left us rather lethargic. The 2 bedroom apartment was a little extravagant I thought...the upgrade welcomed especially on the 25th floor overlooking St Andrew's cathedral, the Queen Victoria Building and the Sydney tower. Guests had their own en suite and telly in the next room.

It would have been great to have had the weekend here in Sydney but the sister is about to touch down and I needed to clean up the house. The other half is already complaining that I am spending way too much time away from home. I guess he gets lonely when I am away but it is work and it pays the bills.

So here I am again sitting in the dreadful Qantas Club Lounge is Sydney wondering why I am putting up with travelling for work again. It is not something I desire but out of career necessity. Adding to my rather anti-social attitudes towards crowds in general, work related travel is way too taxing for my age.

Time for a cup of coffee.

See you real soon Andrew!!

Sydney - Homeward Bound?

So here I am waiting for my flight to Sydney. I hope that Andrew can spare some time tomorrow evening so that we can catch up ...if only for a drink. At this stage, he is not sure but will give me a call later.

It will be one of those rather bizarre and busy week. I have meeting across all three days - mostly to tighten some contracts and put in place 'enhancements' i.e. the current process is not working as you can imagine.

The job is turning out to be very challenging but the potential are endless. So I am giving it another couple of weeks before I look for an alternative career. The people are also good and the bosses are supportive but still too early to tell.

Will keep you posted! Maybe catch a movie = Sydney Film Festival or maybe another visit to the cocktail bars....

Would be nice to see Andrew again.

The weekend that was.....SYDNEY!

It was a good weekend away. I managed to get to the soon- to- open Apple Store in Sydney, shopping for sports jacket that was rather cheap at the stores and ate at our usual haunts. A trip to the Victoria Room for cocktails was also a good start to the weekend with Martinis, Long islands and strange but rather alcoholic infused ciders. Who knew Apple could give one a hangover?

Along the way, I met an interesting chap called Douglas. English 44 and apparently on his second run in Sydney to find true love. Lovely chap who works in the construction business and enjoys his lager way way too much. We spoke about living in Sydney and how things change and what remained the same with the passing of time. He asked me whether I was ever in love. I said yes but sometimes being in love with Love is not good either. And he liked music.

Sydney it seems is still big on recycling…..

We were also introduced to a friend’s new partner of 6 months called Malcolm who works in the Arts. The mixed bags of Freudian platitudes were welcomed but I guess I’m too cynical and have grown out of useless banter that it became quite tedious in the end.

I took some real nice pics of breakfast at the Hilton overlooking the QVB (Queen Victoria Building), the new soon to be opened Apple Store façade and of people in general to be uploaded over the weekend.

I am off again to Sydney in the next few hours….for work this time and hopefully it will be just as enjoyable.

Where's Wally??

It has been a very busy 3 weeks...the new job is keeping me extremely busy but all in good fun I guess. The weekend was spent away camping at Wilpena Pound in the Flinders Ranges; watching shooting stars and embracing the smell of burning wood.

This coming weekend is brunch with friends and Sydney the week after followed by a business trip to Sydney again for the week. I have had very little time for anything else. Did get myself a nice LV Danube bag and a nice Bally one as well. A little ostentatious but I'm worth it.

The CD shop at the Central Market was closing down and everything was on 50%. So got myself some house CD ie. Sessions with Mark Farina, M.Y.N.C., Dave Seaman, Satoshi Tomei. Not bad all in all just $90 - is that a steal?

One other negative is not listening to podcast or writing much - the job is so draining but I need to get myself a little more organised. Will not be able to be there when they open the Apple Store in Sydney but if I'm lucky....

Hi Kevin, Andrew, Peter, Pinoyboy, John, Bentley...hope you guys are fine. Missing ya!

1st week into the new job

Another multinational that pays the bills. Life's real journey - more updates soon. Looking forward to Sydney during the long weekend....

Busy Busy Busy...

The car is booked in for a service this Thu, Indra is at the Oncologist, meeting with AMP rescheduled for Friday...2 new low profile bridgestones need to be ordered + rotated n balanced, flowers for mother's day, driving up to Melbourne for the weekend, getting a pair of jeans shortened, a trip to the ironing lady across the street who charges way way too much for a pair of shirt.

Life seems to be a whole series of chores to be lined up and executed. Can one ever remain still?

Hey you!

I cupped his face in my hand and slowly rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and soaking up his manly aroma, a sensory indulgence like smelling freshly pressed linen or waking up to the smell of fresh toast. Gently I kissed his moist welcoming lips ever so lightly.

Was it that time again to say goodnight; see you tomorrow my memories?

Kevin - SAM SPARRO!!

This is a post for my friend Kevin...Sam Sparro i.e. Black and Gold. I find music helps me put things into perspective. This is one of those jazzy funk albums that you will either like or detest but it is definitely one for the Gym while oggling at those abs!

Hope you are well my friend and enjoying the HARD CANDY!!

Alanis Morissette - Underneath

I remembered seeing her live years ago while still living in Singapore...it was amazing - I still have the Tshirt somewhere! I will wait for the album due end of May...worth the wait!

The Anzac Weekend...

The weekend was spent away at the beach house which was OK but a little depressing due to the cold and wintery weather. The boys had a good time though running along the beach and we did finally manage to go to the tavern that recently opened.

It wasn't great but at least it's somewhere to hang out with the locals...and for your homemade $10 deserts which is a little expensive for a country town. Mum said that the satay sauce is atrocious so we stayed away from having any meals there.

Sunsets are great at Point Turton...the colours changes every evening which is fantastic for phototaking. I try to see the positives....

Indra is finally in remission and he seems to be a new boy. I feel blessed that the treatment has given him a new lease on life but still I am a little worried that he will fall ill again. For the moment, I take comfort that he is happy and healthy. Admiral on the other hand is a little cutie and like all cuties he is a charmer...the little devil.

This week is interview week and I am hopefull that I will find something interesting on the jobfront.

June will see us in Sydney and I am not too sure whether Andrew would then have moved to Sydney?? We are catching Phantom at the Lyric theatre with Anthony Warlow (he is the best) and it will be his last performance, it is worth the trip over. I am planning to meet old friends for YUM CHA as well and if Andrew is already living in town, it will be a good idea to catch up. Who knows... I think I will email him today to find out.

I am also glad to hear Pinoyboy's voice on Ohmypod....I thought we lost him but he is still around though not sounding well. Take care of yourself and get better! Hang around as long as you can coz Ohmypod really needs you as much as we do!!

Also in the pipeline of travels....the trip to the US in 2009/10 covering SF, LA, Vegas, Chicago and NY, Toronto etc. It will be great to be able to get to Texas but I am unsure whether it's going to be possible. I am excited at the prospect of finally meeting Kevin, Brad and maybe Peter and PB. As always, I must plan it right so that we get to the National Parks that we want to see and swing around to see my distant friends.

Why things happen...

Today I am feeling a little philosophical...it always escalate into days of spiralling sleepless nights and a physical aching that just wouldn't go away. On top of that, I then get bombarded by montages of unexplained circumstances when I do go to sleep - a series of disconnected episodes straight out of someone else's personal memoirs that are just emotionally trying to figure out.

Maybe because the quest for happiness is perilous, it is hard to realise where you are in your life without comparing it to something you think is the ideal, tangible. Then I reason the response to be a mental cushion in-built to make me feel better about myself so that my psyche can pull out of this soulful malaise. I think I have too much time on my hands. God and this headache won't go away either!

My thoughts are cacophonous!

I know you...

He brushed my hands, not intentionally I thought, but the sensation was familiar and the scent of his manly being caressed my senses that I felt the tingle of bewilderment and a calmness only felt in warm embrace.

At that moment, just for a second, I seemed to know him in more ways than one - unnerving I thought, being that the only connection I had is based on a long lost memory and a flicker of what I thought was real long ago. I was hasty! Too hasty sometimes for my own good that memories, not my own, overcome my reality. I know you, don't I? Maybe not you physically but you nonetheless.

DESIRE you are indeed cruel, malice unintended!

Another uneventful day...

The city can be rather sterile...everything seems to be systematically organised to ignite the excitement of a 5-year old but then again it is the school holidays. The great thing about it all is that I finally got my iPod Touch back so the past few hours have been spent on updating the software etc. etc. which can be quite testing if you prefer having the hours go by while the computer slowly makes up its mind whether or not to sync from a previous back-up?

The good thing is that the other half bought a nicely gilded 7x5 photo frame for me and 2 really appealing short sleeve shirts...one in red checkerboard design and another orange 100% soft linen which I think is quite divine @70% off. What a bargain!!

I have finally finished the Amber Spyglass and realised why the Church or any religious institution would consider these sort of books 'challenging' i.e. the demise of hell and the non-existence of heaven etc. I cannot imagine it as a movie though...having Angels make war with Witches! What blasphemy...I just love such controversy.

Tomorrow is another nice day with 27 degrees expected and I will be having a mezze lunch in the city overlooking the weekend market on Rundle St. It will be good to finally embrace what Adelaide has to offer. Next week is another trip to Samstag for an exhibition...Primavera in Adelaide and not Sydney? I miss Sydney sometimes and even Melbourne can surprise you...Adelaide will eventually blossom into something grand. It will take time!

I still can recall the hustle and bustle of running to exhibitions opening on Thursdays like bar hopping. It would be good to see Adelaide ignite with new ideas. Still haven't found any controversial art installations or video art aka Mike Parr but abject art is very confronting even for the seasoned artist!

I am excited...life has alot to offer; you just need to keep positive or if all else fail, create a new beginning.

HARD CANDY & E=MC2

What can I say...I have been recovering from a bug and listening to music. Madonna's Hard Candy is good enough for the dancefloor and Mariah's E=MC2 is again another confusing concoction...very very confusing. Still she still looks pretty awesome though!

My verdict, buy Madonna's Hard Candy and leave Physics to the Physicists!

It's officially Thursday

I feel 85%...there must have been a bug that hung around but for now I am sure that my tummy has recovered and only the aches on my back are left lingering. Oh well...at least I am not running in and out of the bathroom all the time.

The workfront has been slow what with me being less enthused after the holidays so I do need to pull my finger out and not fall in such malaise of complacency. The annoying thing is that my Touch crashed yesterday...it just wouldn't power up and I couldn't get it connected to iTunes nor externally charged from the sync cables. So back to Myers to drop it off...it is only about 2 months old. Not too sure what happened but I think it was overworked. 3-4 weeks that's what they say... they're nice but was rather clueless.

Apparently, they informed me that if Apple couldn't fix it, they will either replace it with a 'refurbished' pair or replace parts there of. The chances of me getting a new Touch is out of the question. I guess I was not prepared to hear that Apple is so cheap eventhough they would have you pay squillions just to own one of their toys.

Sadly this week, I purchased an ExtremeMac Tango speakers so that I can put it into the spare room. The sound is fantastic but with the demise of my Touch, I guess I have to revert back to the nano for the time being.

Today I wait for the gas-meter man to come and do his annual reading. The last reading was in 2005 in which we have been trying ever since to get him through the door. Mum will swing around at 11am to pick up a framed photograph I have made of the partner to be displayed at the holiday house.

It is going to be a mundane exercise today...

How I feel today.....

So back to square one with the job-hunting now that the holidays are out of the way. I have set myself a reasonable target i.e. apply for 3 jobs a week and therefore I should have 12 applications out there. The hard bit is trying to find a job that you enjoy and at the same time pays reasonably well...huh?! Are you kidding me?!

Apart from that ,I have gone to 3 galleries today as a morning outing which is great. I used to be able to do that quiet often and working at the Art Museum environment was really good for the senses...I didn't have to go very far. I have also renewed my membership at the Art Gallery so that will see me networking again and enjoy the visual feast I've missed working in Finance.

What now Hadi? Lunch and then home to spruce up the house, run a wash and then start working on resumes. Oh yes I nearly forgot! Need to buy some iceberg for tonight and to the photo store to print an 8x10.

Alas ...all in day's work!

The D80 in constant flux....

A learning process indeed, this trip has seen me tweaking with the D80 beyond words. This image is what I consider 'painterly'. I have been doing all sorts of quirky things but the weather has not been kind especially when you require a constant and unless I stayed on Auto, my shots cannot be a simple Point & Shoot.

Staying on P is also a little unpredictable as you move into areas where light fluctuates so I have been compensating by taking variable exposures just to make sure I get it right on multiple settings, shakes and all. No not HDR...I'm not keen on HDRs. I wish there was a quick fix but I am slowly undestanding the camera a little better.

On Auto, the D80 tends to over-expose and achieving the necessary 'warmth' in your pictures is almost impossible with that setting. And having to go on Shutter Priority accounts for a higher unpredictability ratio. Vibration reduction only gives you less than a few seconds. And then there is that fine line with ISO setting, ISO Auto, P,A,M etc. - a combination that is 'endless' but not infinite. Whinge!?

There is a solution, which means faster lenses i.e. F2.8 or F1.4. I know I know...buying better lenses to compensate for my inability to take pictures in low light is defeatist. I need to get this right and work with the limitations.

Slowly updating Flickr...

I am slowly loading up pictures to Flickr. My connection at home is acting up again and I think there is a conspiracy...actually I have a really crappy laptop with a centrino chip; talk about paranoia!

But hey...sometimes good things are worth the wait.

Narcissus...

I'm not one to indulge in a little narcissism especially when it comes to pictures of myself; I fear waking up the dead...low self-esteem I guess! But here is one of myself at the flight museum in Vietnam/Saigon. The other half kept hounding me to smile....I was soaking in sweat and all he could say was stop trying to be a grump and smile. I acquiesced - sorry! It does look horrid - I like the background better.

Vietnam and Laos is not Thailand, Burma or Cambodia. There is a distinct contradiction between Communism and Capitalism and it feels like moving a piece of metal from one magnetic pole to another - there is an awkward sensation as you move across the land.




Hanoi (North) and Saigon (South) are also such opposites - to say that there is a lack of organisation is a generalisation but you feel as if there is a little resistance to the simplest of rules especially on the roads. Being organised is purely tourism-centric while everything else is everyone for himself. People are confused most of the time - red/amber/green, road rules huh? Central Saigon is bad and I thought India was bad but Saigon is just so congested + the amount of one-way streets where Life is often cheap. In fact, you can say that the French have alot to answer for.

In terms of their physical appearance, I consider them to be more South East Asian Chinese and not your usual Mainland Chinese; a mix bag. Asians tend to see other Asians in layers and they seem to be caught between two hemispheres.

One great thing about the whole trip is that I was able to read all the blogs and did manage to rip a couple of movies to keep me occupied on the plane. The SQ flight out of Adelaide had the old planes i.e. no on- demand entertainment system but the ones heading to Vietnam was fantastic. All in all, the Touch did a remarkable job for its size throughout the trip.

OMG has it been that long....

I have been a recalcitrant...not blogging since I've returned from the holidays. Sorry guys!!

Vietnam and Laos was very draining. The humidity hit me so hard that I was constantly perspiring the moment I stepped out of my room. Not the 'spring chicken' I use to be, I realised. I was lucky and only gained 1kg from the trip which I attribute to the french pastries and the baguettes - it was irresistible.

I have also been trying to recover from food-poisoning that hit me while on my way back -thank god on the last day while on the plane to Adelaide. I plastered the lavatory and I think the next occupant would not have been pleased - I think the belching sound was more disturbing...I was quite the gentleman in leaving the environ rather pristine! It wasn't that bad but I think I emptied the whole day's load short of 5 seconds.

One of the many great discoveries is the fact that moisture is a big problem for the camera and that I needed to keep the temperature constant. The sudden flux causes the camera to fog and it took 10-15 minutes to acclimatise...not good when you are up at dawn - I woke up the next day 1/2 an hour earlier just to make sure I got some pictures that were decent enough. And then there are dust, rain, spots, cleaning cloth, rivers, grey clouds, mist, boats, monks on a running rampage etc. screws up the AF function of the camera - duh! Some cameras are just not made for action shots...I have to learn to live with the limitations.

The next thing to do is to load up pictures in Flickr. Bought 3 new class 6 SDHC cards - 1 x Extreme III 8GB and 2 x Transcend 8GB for half the price. I've noticed that it makes no difference really...I was expecting the Extreme III to be superfast but it was just as effective as the Transcend.

In Laos....

I thought I might just update my whereabouts since I have been incognito. Loads of pictures...some really breathtaking some really mediocre. Till then off for a swim and a milkshake.

Wet Wet Wet - Hanoi

It is the second day in Hanoi and drizzled all day. Stupid me brought myself a pair of running shoes instead of a cross-trainer and of course there is muck all over my legs. Vietnam is a mix bag and I've noticed how different Vietnamese are to the Chinese. I have been mistaken as Vietnamese countless times so I've given up trying to explain instead a wave of a hand and a smile is becoming a norm.

Pictures are hard to take especially during the wet season but I've noticed that it is hard to put your camera away...

More updates soon....

One more time....

I've just lost my post to Cyberspace and He didn't even try to return it back to me. Bloody internet connection is acting up again but it is obvious that I need a newer, 'swishier' laptop with the works...the kind that will make my grandma blush. I just have to wait till I get my new job and then I will have a reason to get one but for now the HP is fine to get me going.

Amazingly, the other half said rather passingly this long weekend that he wants an iPhone. I wonder where that came from? He's always been a Windows advocate but I think my Touch has a lot to do with it and the fact that he can then bundle everything into one little flat pack is really enticing. What he wants to do is to have his email, music, a GPS, WIFI connection for browsing, make phone calls to moi only and then be able to take pictures at the same time. I think the iPhone is really the answer since we've pondered over a Blackjack and an 02 - finding that none of the specifications fit our needs. Hopefully they will have a 32GB or 60GB model when it finally arrives in Australia. The 8GB is just ludicrous for the price.

Only 4 more days before I hit the vacation track again. 10 days in Vietnam and another 7 days in Laos with a layover in Singapore...in which will be spend by the beach eating some local delicacies. I can't wait.

I have also managed to get my Manfrotto into the Oyster in the hope that I will get great evening/pictures under low-light. Maybe the 10.5mm fisheye and a prime lens is in order but that it the least of my worries.

The 12mm bike lock has been purchased as we are doing some biking this time around in the hope that we can get to places in which people ignore (not the usual tourist route). So let’s see what transpires in the next couple of days.

Indra is at the oncologist today for his chemo treatment. He is in remission and therefore continuing the programme will keep him in remission for longer. Mum has agreed to take him to Dr. Davies while we are away...it is a big commitment as she will need to feed him antibiotics in the morning/evening and take his temperature as well. He will be a grumpy bastard when he comes home but he is such a sweet boy that he is accorded the luxury with what he is going through. Daddy will miss you sweetheart!!

Trying to make a Phone out of a Touch

Busy, Busy, Busy with what you say since I am apparently on 'vacation'? Well I have been working the widgets on the Touch and looking at other peripherals for my touch to turn it into a Skype? I think I need Peter & PB's help on this. As long as I can get the extra gadgets I am sure I can make this work without having to go back to 1.1.1. Note to self : Email the Ohmypod boys!

Wifi coverage in the city is also pretty sparse...for a country that favours technology, Australia really needs to be more competitive i.e. service providers. If we can bring in more competitors into the market, I am sure broadband will be like breathing air but at this stage its like smog - chokingly slow!

The State Library isn't that great either. Next to my desk is an Indian national whom is skyping his wife in Bombay talking loudly in Hindi. I think people need to share connection and not hog the system all to themselves. Earlier today he had abandoned his son to go to the toilet...he left with some other Indian guy for a smoke or something - he looked homesick and the boy started freaking out in the reference section. I so happened to be the recipient of his repertoire and so reported it to security that a child has been abandoned and required removal. Daycare this is not MISTER! It's the bloody library!

So that is my whinge for the day and I am happy to say that I am so looking forward to the holidays which starts next week and with my Touch, I can now email while I am in the hotel...they're big on WIFI in Vietnam/Laos.

Till then.....Peter/PB/Kevin if you are reading this....are webapps any good?

Discovering Adele 19

My iPod distraction at the moment is Adele Stephens with her album 19. Everyone is raving that she is the new Amy Winehouse but I think they're far from being identical. In fact, the core of their songs/age of maturity in their lyrics even social demographic of their sound, if there is such a thing, sets them entirely apart. Adele reminds me of all the new singers in the UK like Kate Nash, Duffy, Lily Allen etc. - influenced by the mix of R&B, Soul and Street + Joss Stone wannabe.

In any case, it is a very good effort for her first album and if you are on iTunes, I recommend buying a couple of her tracks or if you are like me, just get the whole album. Its not Janet but it gives you a very good palette of the type of music that is hitting the UK scene and an inkling of what singers these days have to offer apart from SEX in their music/industry.

Here is a very morbid video of Adele's Chasing Pavements - my partner taught that it was a little strange but it is the tragedy which interest me i.e. the concept behind it all. By the way if you google Adele Stephens you might just get the porn star Adele Stephens. They have no relation whatsoever... trust me the microphone doesn't look anything like SHURE to me!



My favourite from the album?.....MELT MY HEART TO STONE! I remember at 19 how I fell into the trap of not seeing the obvious.

A positive start to the week

Having had my Singlish episode before editing this post....

It's Monday and I have a great feeling that the week will be wonderful. I find myself in the State Library today sending emails to all the hotels to reconfirm my booking for the trip and thinking of all my friends from afar especially what they were up to for the weekend i.e. Kevin - get well soon mate, Peter/Pinoyboy - have sex already!?, John Ong - I think you miss home!, Andrew - OMG a year older!, Brad - back at home maybe?, Keiran - what were you up to? How was your weekend?. I think I need to get a Life! I'm supposedly trying to re-write my resume without much success....maybe after lunch!

The weekend was spend cooking northern/southern Indian meals for the other half. I am a good cook but a lazy one. The repertoire incorporated blood plum and lamb curry, chicken madras with yoghurt, Bindi (OKRA) Spiced, Cauliflower in mustard sauce and spicy eggplant over tomatoes, raita served with low GI rice. It was wonderfully rich and all in all took me around 2 hours including a complete clean of the kitchen at the same time while pans were hot on the stove. I just needed to be more organised and the fact that the other half marked all my spices in little plastic containers with a labeller made the rummaging less taxing.

I have also been busy with my new iPod Touch and I love the fact that I can connect to unsecured WIFI connection around the city while I am out and about. Some people need to me more careful with the wireless connection and security but for their lack of interest in such matter I am thankful. People need more education I guess or maybe they just don't know that they are broadcasting? I can also check on the weather at home in Singapore. The GPS system is still a little arbitrary but you can't complain unless you have a chipset built in like the BT338 on an O2? Maybe the ohmypod guys know of an application that can triangulate locations better than using telecommunication towers. I can also get my mail on the run without paying a single cent! WOW! I love my touch - now I truly understand all the hype about the iPhone. I am still reluctant to hack my Touch for those super duper uber applications.

I hope you guys have a great week too and it's 13days n counting before I zip off on my vacation! All the hotels apparently have Wifi so with my Touch, I'm sorted.

Ciao babes!

Duffy Mercy...please!

Lior - I'll forget you

Ah another wonderful vid....be it folk.

Activity in Inactivity

Strangely enough I have been busy...the niece has finally arrived and we've been everywhere from the local store to IKEA. I can't believe how young people these days are so oblivious to budgeting for the week. Singaporean are such instant gratificators! Unreliable...

Saw AME Recruiters last week and met 2 of the nicest people - they were brilliant with what they do...not your regular guys at Hays but you can't win all the time can you.

The new Ipod Touch is also great. I get some sparse coverage when I am doing my walk so I can check my location and the weather - dreaming of the holiday that is looming. The screen is also great and I am glad that I got the 32Gb rather than the 16GB. Apparently the resellers are still trying to push the 16GB without the software upgrade! Cheeky....

Apart from that the other half is in Melbourne for the next couple of days and Indra goes to have his chemo on Tuesday and I have an appointment on Mon at 9.30am. For that I still have yet to do my homework but I'll get them done tonight. The boys are currently asleep and I'm watching the Paper Sisters wondering when I am ever going to get through the boxsets.

Now I am also listening to Peter n Pinoyboy... I miss listening to various podcasts at work but I have a couple more weeks to look for work before going on vacation. Oh well c'est la vie!

No blogging in 5 days

It's amazing but I haven't had the chance to write anything for 5 days. Not that there wasn't anything interesting happening...i.e. I finally gave in a bought a 32GB touch. The other half is in heriting the 8GB nano 3rd Gen. I like it and have been playing with it ever since.

I've also loaded up some pictures in there which is marvellous so that when I get a little despondent, I can look it up and enjoy the memories of better days.

The weather has also been atrocious in Adelaide from 39degrees celcius yesterday to 20.2 this morning with rain expected. It is becoming more and more like Melbourne!

On the work front, I saw some marvellous people yesterday and I believe that they will do a great job in finding me another placement. They have a very positive vibe about them and I am lucky in a way to have met people of a similar mindset.

Till then guys...hope you are having a great time Kevin, Peter/Pinoyboy still trying to download the podcast via wifi when I'm out and about, Andrew - where are you?, Keiran - lessons begin soon I hope and to everyone else - just be Happy!

Final Day @ Work

All is set...lunch is organised at the Sailmaster...champagne, Red Wine and Cabcharge. In the menu Oysters, Whiting and Fillet Steak MR. Why not since it is my very last day with the company.

Regrets - None actually...I thought I should be sad but I am more relieved than distraught. There is just so many other more important things to think about and my schedule for the next 3 weeks is jammed packed with interviews and family affairs.

I have an appointment with the Oncologist on Tuesday for Indra and he seems brighter. I hope remission will see for another 12 months. I am more distraught with that reality than the joblessness.

Just counting the hours now! Wish me luck and happy belated Valentine's everyone...

The Australian Government and Communism...

Maybe it is just me or my undeniable 'admiration' for socialism but if we disguise Communism with Democracy then aren't we Socialists? In this day and age, I would think that Maoists are a dying breed but all 'faith' mongers hide behind rhetorics - at the end of the day "THINGS FALL APART!"

Yeats:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming!

Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of "Spiritus Mundi"
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast,
its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Chinua Achebe .... "THINGS FALL APART!"

Beware the silvered-tongue that cast shadows among the original people of the land OKONKWO!

Read on for this I fear is only the beginning and soon 'sleeping' with the 'enemy' will surely cause the Greens some grief:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23206448-5007146,00.html

6 weeks 10.4kg and counting.

Indra is at the doctor's today for his Chemo...

SURGEONS must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the culprit,—Life!

Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part One: LifeXLII

WHEN I hoped I feared,
Since I hoped I dared;
Everywhere alone
As a church remain;
Spectre cannot harm
Serpent cannot charm;
He deposes doom,
Who hath suffered him.
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.

Part One: LifeLXVI

I am truly at my ideal weight of65kg...I was 25 when I last weighed this much. I have also started on my routine munching (OK snacking!) to see how it affects the metabolism. It has proven to be quite an awakening - apparently the body has adjusted itself to the likes of a well-oiled energy convertor and a little biscuit here and there have proven to be ineffectual to the whole plan.

Lets see what happens in the next couple of weeks with the family in town and all that eating that I'll be doing this Friday at the farewell party!

Brain Freeze...

Not blogging due to Brain Freeze:

1. Indra at Vet tomorrow.
2. Writing up Resumes.
3. Finishing work on Friday.
4. Move mobile plan to Personal on Friday ? N95 on a $49/- plan? Not too sure.
5. Pick up books @ borders on Indian Cooking.
6. Manfrotto Tripod bag purchased.
7. New BOSS shoes...couldn't help it (they were orange).
8. Ordered Nikon BM-7 lens cover from HONGKONG.
9. Contact Employment Agencies.
10. Answer a whole load of Ads.
11. Booked nature tour and restaurant on Friday 22nd (done).
12. Need to find new sunglasses.
13. Need additional camera batteries.
14. Need to sort out health cover and Superannuation this week. Need to rollover Super and get lost super from UniSuper (UNSW) consolidate into AMP.

Need a holiday desperately!!!

Not Well Darling?!

Recovering from Chemo...still feeling lousy but at least he hasn't lost his appetite. I love you darling!

Yes we can...

Oncologist

We arrived early this morning and took a nice walk while waiting for the surgery to open. Indra, though a little tired, went willingly around the block + sniffing around to check whether there were hot girls out there for him to play with. He is a real boy I tell you!

The chemo should take 15 minutes and observation for the next 6-10 hours. I will pick him up at 4.30 this afternoon with a short consult with Dr. Davies on his blood test. I had to fill out all this waiver papers which just intensified my concern but they seem to be on top of things. The receptionist was really pleasant and she reassured me that at any time when the chemo is not going well she will ring me.

I spoke to the hubby last night and we both realised that it will be difficult loosing him but giving him the chance to live with the prospect of a normal quality of life is the only thing we can offer. He will go eventually, sooner than we anticipated but we hope to have some grieving time as the cancer progresses. Remission? Well I really don't know where we stand with this at the moment but in the next couple of weeks, we will see a difference if the treatment has worked.

I spoke to the breeder yesterday to explain to her of Indra's predicament. Like surrogacy, we thought it polite to inform the breeder of his condition and to see whether they'd like to see him over one of the weekends. Lynn and Barry are good people and they love their dogs as much as we do. I didn't want to tell them that we've lost Indra in September where we usually catch up with them at the dog show. I can still remember Indra winning his first ribbon - I was such a proud dad!

Thank you Peter, Kevin and Keiran - my dear friends for your concern and prayers. I know it will go a long way. I haven't given up just as yet.

Beginning Treatment

Treatment starts tomorrow and will take 17 weeks. Multispectrum chemo drugs fourth stage that will hit the cancer cells extensively. There should be some improvement by the 4th to 5th week and at the same time an ultrasound and some Xrays will be done to look for tumors etc. I have asked to work from home on Wednesday seeing that I will probably fall into deep depression at the thought of him being all alone at home when the drugs kick in.

Alas such is life...

The sad news...

I am devastated...Indra my boy have been diagnosed with lymphosarcoma. I guess its like hearing from your doctor that your child is gravely ill and there is no cure. I do not blame the Vet though this is the 4th time I am seeing them. I guess I wanted the Vet to have all the answers but apparently because Indra was still looking so alert, they didn't think to check.

To keep my composure I have decided to focus on treatment so that I can improve his quality of life. Lymphosarcoma is not genetically influenced and no one seems to know how it come about but sometimes it happens to middle and older aged canines but Indra on the other hand is only 5.

So I have to say that I am ill-prepared. Everyone that I know have somewhat been touched by Cancer and I think 2008 has had a real bad start for me. I have been preparing half-boiled eggs over the weekend and mixing it with some wet food...as long as he is eating, he is still getting the nutrients he needs.

We took him to the park yesterday and he was happy though exhausted from the whole affair. The Vet called Saturday with the bad news. I have tried to get out of the mourning mode but it is like a whirlwind...sometimes I am delighted that he is not in pain and at times I feel helpless because I cannot do anything.

I am still unsure whether Chemotherapy is the way to go but I am calling the specialist to book a consult. Hopefully this afternoon coz without treatment I will loose him in 2-4 weeks. Next is to call the breeder to inform them of the bad news as well. They too will be devastated - any dog lover would.

Kevin...remember this?

What the Manfrotto gave me last night.

I like it...now it's time to go out more often at night - Adelaide is very daunting so might try some safe neighbourhoods first!

Pets are an expensive affair like kids!

So $300 later Indra's blood is off to Sydney for some lab tests. They are not too sure what is wrong...could be mere giardia or lymphoma - the test will indicate what is really wrong with him. Apart from all that is going on around me, I have added this to the list of my worries. Alas life is such; if it is not you then its someone you know or someone you love.

I did managed to pick up my Manfrotto 190XB with an 804RC head. It is supposedly an introduction size for DSLRs but it is rather big. I used it last night to take some long exposures and it does the job fine. There was also a gale out and when that happens I think I will need to extend the legs a little wider for better stability. All these is in preparation for Cambodia...the trip is planned during a full moon so might be able to catch some light on the ruins.

We are not going to Angkor this time but further out to the borders and the hill tribes by 4WD. It will be exciting.

So its Friday and I am glad that the week is almost over. Heading to the city to pick up my suit; this will be my 4th fitting and I am about to give up but hopefully they've got it right this time. I despise a suit that doesn't sit right.

Have a great weekend guys!

What ills the boy....

He has been ill for quite awhile and I've been to the Vet thrice for this affliction. Still not too sure what it is. I've tried keeping his diet preservative free by making it all on my own and grating the carrot (fibre) each day but to no avail. The doctor is somewhat sceptical but he is not himself lately and I should know coz I spend more time with him than with my partner. He has diarrhoea and I can almost feel his pain when he strains each morning before I go to work.

So today at 4.30pm, I am insisting that they do a blood test on him, check his throat and maybe some medication to stop the pain. At least he is not squealing but he was never a squealer. I really want to know what is making him spew all the time, whether it is tonsillitis or food-poisoning? The trouble with dogs that keep your premises safe is that you're never sure when someone might throw something nasty over the fence and I truly hope that it isn't the case. I just want him to get better.

Treats are also out of the question coz he can't keep it down. Today's breakfast was simple; a small handful of dry food, boiled chicken, al dente pasta, grated carrot and some PAL just to keep him enthused. Not that he is not eating but he seems lethargic.

I am hoping that it isn't something major.

Valerie!

Know my heart...

An old album but I still listen to it often when I'm out on my walk.

The vitamins list...

The nightly routine:

1. Blackmores Slow Release Multi
2. Blackmores Fish Oil Omega 3
3. Ginko Biloba
4. Garlic + C
5. Blackmores B Complex

I take B Complex to allow me to sleep through the night. Apparently, it helps with the anxiety of actually having to go to bed. I think my mind is more active when I sleep...I seem to slip through 'scenarios' often and each session is like turning chapters over a collection of short stories; some my own but more often that of other's. It makes for good writing if only I had the vocabulary for it.

But since on the diet, I have decided to take supplements to keep up with the rigours of daily life and replenish the energy which is being replaced with the burning of fat into Carbo to turn into sugar without the external resource of binge eating. The body's need for sugar is where all the weight is being lost to.

I wrote a lengthy blog yesterday regarding some of my contemplations and lost it during transit. I suppose it was really controversial that if you've read it, you might feel a little insulted though that was not the intention. People are overtly sensitive these days and I guess what I wrote wouldn't have helped the situation. That I guess was Fate interjecting and my Psyche playing a fast one on me. Thank you!

Reading other people's blog, it makes me wonder why I am less interested in current affairs per say. I grew up as a political teenager, went to realise my dream working with bureaucrats and came out jaded. I can never imagine living in Singapore what I termed as a mindless vacuum of existence but I am also against superficial activism. Thus these days I am far too aware of the double-speak and therefore am less interested with political views which are not my own. I guess change takes place from within before you can live someone else's dream. How can you know what they represent if you don't know where you yourself stand in the scheme of things or to a larger magnitude, the cosmos?

One of my many flaws is what I call 'perception deception'. When I meet a particular race or person, I tend to impose my expectations on that single interaction. I am unyielding when it comes to this and I judge a book by its cover. People should be responsible for their own actions. I am also easily put off by people lacking in resolutes. I yearn to be inspired, appreciated and in return provide for that friendship but often People are broken to the point of disrepair. Without them knowing, they inspire others to despise. Hating is not part of me but a growing cancer that is perpetuated by these experiences. I am working towards curbing my negative experiences without tainting others in the process.

As I get older, I am becoming more and more indignant as well. 'Anger' is also one of my many afflictions...anger without regret. I have no time for procrastinators though at times I am burdened by my own inactions. I am appalled by cowardice though at times I prefer not to speak my mind because I lack self-control. I have an aversion to People letting Fate take over their lives but often I am thankful that things don't go my way because I will not look back on collateral damage for forgiveness. Pride is my security insecurity.

So where do I stand these days as I get older? Can you live life without Karma - no interaction, no intervention, no existence except for the bills that arrive in your mailbox that says who's who is living on the premises? I really don't know but for now - the journey is perilous enough and the destination should be sweet. Know me but don't fear me and I will do the same without reservation.

I surmise that Blake has got it right but I fear that I am far from the Romantic that I imagine myself to be years ago.

Project runway S04E09

Goodbye Victorya...there is a GOD!

For Kevin - HONEY!

Australia Day Weekend...

Monarto Zoo, a great bbq of homemade patties and the tyre that fell to pieces while out driving. The weekend was exhaustive beyond belief and I could still feel the after-effects.

It was a good day out and I was able to try out many settings on the my D80 especially shots of people in B&W. I am now keen to get a fisheye lens and forego the prime f1.4 as people apparently are not too perturbed when a tourist is busy snapping pictures of them.



Went for a weigh-in on Saturday and I am down by 6.4kgs after 26 days. I am officially 69kg and going down as we speak. My target weight is now 65-67kg. For the next two weeks that is the plan anyway. Yesterday I had my first extra serving of protein i.e. left over patties from the other evening's bbq and skipped my walk. My weight has not been affected by this so it is a sign that my metabolism is top notch.

Cycled to the beach twice this weekend - the weather was fantastic and the beach was filled with revelers...I have to admit that I am not a fan of the sun. Australia's UV is extreme and if you are fair-skinned then you'd better remember the sunblock.

So its Monday morning and I'm not looking forward at all to the 'long' week but alas these are the final days and I need to focus on that and move forward. There is always Hope to count on.

I have a wish today...may all your dreams come to fruition this year my friends - a little 'prayer' from me:

1. Kevin - for good health and peace of mind;

2. Andrew & Scott - for the ability to embrace new possibilities;

3. Peter and Pinoyboy - to stop 'bickering' and know that we love your banter ;

4. John Ong - to enjoy the journey and see it for what it's worth... the destination is an illusion;

5. Brad - to find someone to grow old with and maybe to throw away old baggage;

6. TC and your trip to Japan - may you find what you're looking for;

7. Ross - for finding someone yet again to share your love. I have hope in your conviction;

8. To all my flickr friends...it has been good knowing you all - gives me hope that not everyone are bastards!

I hope God is listening today even for an agnostic like myself. And to my sister - to be brave and see the light for a better tomorrow - we love you.

5.5kg day 25

That's my weight status at this point in time @ exactly 1.15pm/Fri 25th Jan 2008. I have to admit that sometimes I feel so exhausted from food deprivation but to presume that all 5.5kgs which have gone kaput is my own imagination is a battle I am glad to call truce with. The digital scale is now my friend.

I feel good healthwise but am missing all the ludicrous amount of fat-infested, carbo-filled, deep-fried turkish-wrestling, heartburning distractions of an all Aussie diet. Damn, a bag of hot chips with Chicken salt sounds mighty fine right now but alas....

It is the 'Australia Day' long weekend starting tomorrow. Similar to Remembrance Day in the States, Australians celebrate with a hearty bbq and the poor excuse of watching grass grow (Test Cricket - Aust vs. India); refer to image of Hadi in his morose state of glee at the thought!! Blaarrgh!

There is no plan to head on the holiday house...because another million other people would have shared some psychic connection aka The Dubois Syndrome. Cycling is definitely in the agenda and maybe a grand meal with Flake tossed in coriander seed (grind), garlic salt and a bit of lemon rind over the barbeque might be in order. We'll see. There are bottles of champagne feeling a little neglected. Damn the diet!

One of boys is also not well. So boiled chicken with pasta was the recipe for good health this morning. He seems to be so lethargic all the time after the series of antibiotic from the Vet and has yet to snap out of it. I hope today when I get home, he'll be fine or its back to the Vet again tomorrow. This runnie poo thing is also a bad sign that the antibiotics might have flushed out everything, even the good enzymes. Who knows? The boys are taking turns to make me worry I think. Not so cute though....

Dreams are real to me...

We arrived by car. It's been a while since we last saw her and the family. Glad that we did, we were soon taken by surprise at how quickly the throng of lost relatives surrounded us with their odd welcoming boisterousness.

Her afflictions have not been kind and she had to strap herself up in a rather bizarre contraption that elevated her from the ground much like a puppet while columns of piping encased the suspension lines. Within these pipes, warm medicinal vapours were being pumped into the structural form. The suit itself was somehow amazingly constructed to do just that, a therapeutic sauna of a kind circulating herbalic fumes. I could never understand the hocus- pocustry, if there was such a word, of traditional medicine but if it has brought hope to someone, I dared not argue.

She was glad to see us - the cousins elated at doing donuts around the parameter with our V8; scaring the neighbours with the incessant rumbling that came from a heavy-footed juvenile. The dust-filled terrain reminded me as to the real reason why I left this place but yet at the same time, I was glad to be somewhere familiar.

Their neighbours were expatriates who came down the stairs looking rather displeased until they caught sight of me. All decked for a night out, they awkwardly broke into conversation though I could care less if they had just walked away quietly without blinking an eye. Assuming that I was totally out of place, they began a conversation about work, lives and why I should come by for dinner one day. It seemed far too bizarre that in all that despair, elation and confusion - how all our lives are separate but yet intertwined by a mere introduction. What a twat of a couple!

Of course I stood there politely conversing about the most unnatural of topics to expatriates that had no understanding of the culture, language and conception of living in a foreign land but I acquiesced out of politeness; pretended that I gave a damn about what they thought and transformed myself into a social butterfly, skilled by years of experience. That was what I do best - kept the best part of my thoughts to myself; I hate peering into someone's soul always left wanting. Surely there must be something better to do than listen to strangers dignifying their self-impotence!

"Hadi! Wake up! Dreaming!?"

Dragging myself out of bed, I draped open the curtains, turned off the air-conditioning and made my way quietly to the bathroom.

And so the day begins again.